Ep #397: Part 2 – Weight Loss Coaching Myth Busters Series

Well, hello there friend. Welcome back to the podcast. So today is part two of our Weight loss Coaching Myth Buster series. So glad that you’re here. 

We’re gonna bust some more myths. I have to tell you something really quick, though, because the fact that this delights me so much is kind of amusing to me, but I just have to share it with someone. So I’m going to tell you. So I haven’t talked much about my dog in a long, long time, but, you know, long time listeners may know that I have a West Highland Terrier. His name is Auggie. He’s laying next to me sleeping because he barks so often. It’s like clockwork. I usually will record an episode in the afternoon, and then he’s barking at the mailman who’s delivering the mail. And then I think you can sometimes hear that on the podcast. So today I made him come up with me, come upstairs to my office so that he could take a nap and be quiet. But anyway, so West Highland White Terrier, that’s the official name of the breed.

And so where are the West Highlands? Well, they’re in Scotland. And so my oldest son, I’ve mentioned this just a little bit, but he graduated high school, he applied to college, got in and deferred to take a gap year. And so he’s traveling by himself around a lot of the world over this coming year. So he already left. He left a couple weeks after graduation. So he’s been gone now I believe. Yeah, tomorrow will be a month. So he’s as I record this. So he’s been gone now for quite some time. So it’s really fun. If you don’t know the Marco Polo app, it’s basically kind of like a walkie talkie app, but with video. 

And so we set up everybody in the family including my younger kids and my mom on a family WhatsApp, so that he can talk to us and show us things and share with us where he is. And we also bought a huge map of Europe that will cover everywhere he goes, but a huge map of Europe, because that’s mainly where he’s going to be and put that up in the dining room wall and got like teeny tiny little stickers. And then every day, if he’s gone somewhere new, we put a sticker on the map and it’s already starting to fill up a little bit, which is really fun to see.

I think it’ll be a really awesome gift for him at the end of the trip. To be able to have this map with all the little dots of all the places you went. Anyway, I digress. So he is in Scotland right now as I record this. And so he was at, I think it was called Stirling Castle today, which looked super beautiful and really interesting. And he said, “Tomorrow I’m going to go on a bus tour out to the West Highlands.” And I was like, “You are? You’re gonna go to Aggie’s ancestral grounds! You’re going to see maybe some cousins many times removed.”

I’m like a crazy person. Yes, right. Obviously he’s looking at me. He can hear it in my voice. Anyway, I was like, “Maybe you’ll see some Westies there. Maybe you’ll see a place where they breed Westies.” I’m like, really? I’m a little unhinged over here about the fact that he’s going to be in that area of the world. He has actually seen some Westies, but more so in England. I think he said he saw one in Scotland. Anyway, I’ve become that person. I’m not a cat lady. I’m a dog lady. Anyway, maybe this will put a little smile on your face. Maybe not. Maybe you’re not a dog person. If you are, maybe you’ll understand my delight. Okay, let’s do some work here.

When it comes to busting some myths about weight loss coaching and my program. Weight loss for doctors only, but weight loss coaching in general as well. And today’s part I want to talk about is kind of more of the like, this won’t work for me. I can’t do it kind of section or segment, so to speak. I can’t get what I need. This won’t work for me type of a thing. And I think it it all makes sense. These are all great questions or all things to to really consider and think about. Of course, want to be an informed consumer and an informed buyer when you’re signing up for anything. So it totally makes sense. It’s it’s great. 

And if you miss the first episode, you will want to check that one out too. That’s kind of more about the nuts and bolts and like, what is weight loss coaching even really about? And a lot of things that people have misunderstood or misconstrued or just general myths about my program in particular, but also about weight loss coaching over the years. So you’ll want to check that one out as well. So let’s hop right into these myths. So the first one I’ll give you one kind of version of it. But there are many other kind of versions of this. And that’s I’m diabetic or have an underlying illness that prevents me from following a structured eating plan.

And it could be diabetic. It could be autoimmune stuff. We’ve seen it with all kinds of other. This question has come up with people with all kinds of different kinds of medical problems or other issues. And so this kind of ties a little bit back to what we were talking about in part one of the series. But if you think you can’t have success in the program because you can’t follow a structured eating plan, or the types of things that we recommend are not the right thing for you, that’s totally and completely fine if you already have someone giving you dietary recommendations. 

If you already work with maybe a dietitian or a nutritionist through your doctor that you work with, or they’ve recommended somebody, or there’s just best practices for whatever you’re dealing with, that there’s a better way to eat, then you absolutely should just eat that way. And again, because the way that we encourage eating or whatever, those are just guidelines that are sort of a broad recommendation for a lot of people, but it’s not going to be the right thing for everybody. And if it’s not the right thing for you, then don’t do it for sure. Don’t do it right. A big part of my program, in particular, is helping you to understand that you need to become the expert in your body and your life. Okay, so when we go to other people and like going to the whatever person online who’s like, yep, okay, eat this way and this is your macro count and blah, blah, blah, all those things like that, like they become the expert.

They know what you should do in order to get results. And what I want you to know is that when you’ve done the work to really connect to your body, to really understand your body’s signals to you, and also understanding like how does food feel in my body? What is the result of me eating these things when not eating these things, sometimes the messages are all there. We just often are not tuned in to them. We’re not paying attention to them. We’re just living outside of our bodies and looking outward instead of looking inward and going, wait, what if I actually already know? What if I have? 

Actually, I already know that when I eat gluten, I don’t feel great. I just kind of was in denial or never really put two and two together. So if there’s a better way, you absolutely do that because the vast majority of our program, the real gold, the gem in our program is the mindset work, which has nothing to do with you following any kind of structured eating plan. And I would also say that sometimes the idea that a certain way of eating won’t work for you, and not even saying what I just very generally recommend, won’t work for you.

I have actually seen a lot of people who kind of have the belief that nothing will work for them. It’s like because I have this illness, I can’t follow this eating plan. Like then I don’t have to do this, and then I don’t actually have to do the hard work of trying to lose this weight. This is usually a subconscious kind of theme that’s going for them that they don’t know about, that they don’t really realize. They think it’s really true that they can’t follow that eating plan. 

But I have had people with this kind of concern come in and find out actually what I recommend is really amazingly healthy for them. And actually something that is works great with what it is that they’re trying to do and the type of diet that they want to follow. So sometimes we even have to look at that mindset that we have that like this won’t work. Instead of just going like, well, let me figure out what works for me, and maybe there’s some overlap. Maybe there’s a lot of overlap. And I’ve seen that with people who are trying to conceive or who are pregnant or things like that going like, is this going to be okay for me? And what I love is that over the years I’ve had literally dozens and dozens and dozens. And I mean, I think actually hundreds at this point.

I just have never actually done the math to confirm that specifically. But I’ve worked with many OB GYNs and maternal fetal medicine specialists who all have said that the way that I recommend for people to eat is actually super great for baby and mom. It’s like if you’re trying to conceive, if you are pregnant, and then also after you have the baby, it’s great for supporting your body if you’re nursing or just through the recovery. And it’s not that deep. It’s like it’s a good, solid, healthy way of eating that’s medically sound. 

So if there is some other underlying thing, we usually just say like, yeah, talk to your doctor, talk to the other, support people who know more about your illness or whatever is that you’re dealing with. And let’s figure out what’s the right thing for you, because I will bet you, and this is not an accusation, but just an example, that they’re not. They’re going to be like, oh, take a break from eating sugar. That’s the worst thing you could do. They’re like, yeah, it sounds like a solid thing to try. Like they’re not going to be mad about that. And again, it doesn’t mean you have to eat super low carb, right. If you’re diabetic. Just going back to what I was saying last time, which is like this is not a low carb program, which is actually one of the other additional myths here.

I’m not allowed to eat carbs in the program. Not true, not true, not true. If you’re diabetic, you have to eat carbs. I love carbs, carbs are amazing. You absolutely can eat carbs. You can eat whatever works best for your body when people keep interpreting it as it has to be low carb. And that’s not the right thing for their body. They think, I can’t get what I need out of this program, and that is so far from the truth, so far from the truth. 

Okay, the next one. I’m too old or I’m too young, so I’m going to be just too old. A lot of people think that there’s just some limit. And you know, what I really think about this is I really think it’s kind of like the societal misogyny that exists that makes women think this about themselves. Because, sure, I think men sometimes think this way, but this is much more often, I think, a women dominant kind of way of thinking that like my best years have passed or I’m too old or I’m menopausal, so it’s not going to work or I’m perimenopausal or whatever it is, like somehow blaming ourselves, blaming our age like we can’t have what we want because of something that we have no control over. It’s a pretty crummy place to live to think that that’s the truth for you.

And I just know that’s not true. Now, a couple episodes ago, I had on Lindsay Thomas, who’s an amazing woman who is definitely toward the end of her career and has had amazing success. Like, it’s absolutely not like the thing that is most important is do you want to make a change? I think that for some people, as they get older, they don’t actually want to make a change. And if you just believe that you’re too old to do it, then you don’t have to. That’s kind of an excuse. Then you don’t have to do it because you’re just too old. And that’s fine if that’s the life that you want to have. 

But if you really want to make a change, you absolutely can do it. You just have to change the way you think and not think that way anymore. Every time you tell yourself you’re too old, like, what result do you get from that? It’s typically not going to be something that moves you forward in a positive manner. So it makes sense to evaluate that and go like, yeah, so what? Maybe I’m whatever age or whatever stage in my life that doesn’t mean I can’t learn anything, doesn’t mean I can’t do something different, doesn’t mean I can’t solve this problem that I’ve been dealing with for however many decades. Sometimes I think of it as like, well, would I want to go to the grave with this issue, or would I like to work through it? I mean, I think I might like to work through it, but also I’m someone who goes head first into these types of things because I just know how much coaching can help and how much improvement it can create in someone’s life.

So you’re never too old. You absolutely can do it. All right, how about this? If I’m in therapy, I wouldn’t really benefit from coaching. And what I would say with that is I think in some cases that might be true for some people. They’re really like doing some deep therapy work where it probably makes sense to focus on that for the time being. I think also, if there is somebody who’s in therapy and really struggling more actively with a mental health issue, mental health diagnosis, maybe. Or maybe not. Would coaching be warranted or beneficial? But I will tell you that for the majority of the people that I work with who are not in a place like that, they actually do so well doing both. I’ve had both in my life for I think this might be my fifth year. Yeah, because they’re different, but they build on each other in such a positive way. And what I find is therapy is helpful with some things, and coaching is helpful with others. And it’s not like one is better than the other or more important than the other.

They’re just different. And I get a lot out of both. And I know a lot of people who do the same. So therapy in my opinion, is a lot more about healing things, going back through stuff in the past and kind of digging through some of those older or repressed kinds of things. Whereas coaching is much more forward thinking. I find it to be much more helpful, like in the moment, actively. Like I have this thing coming up and here’s how I feel about it. And I’m not feeling great, or I need some help with x, Y, and z thing. That is very helpful. So I always think of it as therapy is kind of looking more into the past. This is how I think about it. 

Coaching is really helpful moving forward into the future. So they’re different. But I will tell you that I’ve had people come in to work with me in coaching who are ready to move forward, but it’s like they’re dragging a ten ton weight behind them, and that weight is the past trauma from the past and things like that. And so it’s like, well, we can move you forward, but it’s going to be a lot slower and a lot harder than if we get rid of that weight. And so and this is like not body weight. This is not not a metaphor, but just like what they need to do is do some healing also from the past.

And so then they’re doing therapy at the same time as coaching. And I think it’s amazing. I will also tell you that over the years, the more I do this, the more I realize that I think the vast majority of doctors would benefit from working with a trauma therapist. There’s, I think, very little chance that most doctors got through their training without some sort of traumatic experience. And if it’s not any issue for you, then that might be fine. But I have been shocked and doing my own work at how sometimes some very vivid memory of a very stressful time during residency or med school, like, has just popped up and is still very much alive in my mind and in my body, and being able to work through that and release that has been very helpful and just very healing. 

So I think you’re both amazing. And so like I said, we have one more round of our program. So if that’s something that you always kind of wanted to do and check out, then you’d want to explore that with us or maybe with somebody else. But I think it doesn’t need to be one or the other or either or. Okay, I have food chatter, but I don’t need to lose weight, so thinking like that, it wouldn’t be the right thing.

The myth is it wouldn’t be the right thing if I don’t need to lose weight. And that’s actually not the case. And there are definitely people who have a lot of food chatter, a lot of intrusive thoughts about eating and food, and what they find is that when they maybe it doesn’t affect them weight wise until they get older. And so then they come and work with me when they’re in their mid 40s or later when it is finally kind of catching up with them. So you could wait and do it then, but also why not just take care of it earlier when you know there’s no weight issue and then hopefully you won’t have or create a weight issue in the future. 

So that again, since the mind work, the thought work is what’s so so so important. It doesn’t really matter if you’re trying to lose weight or not. And there also are people who don’t really need to lose weight, but know that the way that they’re eating is not really the most positive or supportive. And so it can be helpful to them just to from a general good health kind of place, focus on some things. All right. And then the final question is, you know, I can’t get one on one coaching. I need one on one coaching to be able to have success. And what I will tell you is that’s just a complete myth.

Just not true. Not true at all. I worked with so many people before I offered one on one coaching and they had great results. So one on one coaching is you know what? Most people talk about that as meaning it’s like just the coach and the client, the program member or whatever talking. There’s nobody else around. What I always say is, like, you do get one on one coaching in a program like in our program with written coaching, you totally get one on one coaching. When you’re coached on a group call, it’s only you being coached. It’s not like other people are talking to, like it’s just you getting that time. 

But the benefit is that other people are learning from your experience and you learn from others as well. And so it’s like kind of everyone takes their turn and everyone learns from one another. And that makes such an amazing, beautiful, rich group experience. And so I think the myth is that you need one on one coaching in order to be successful, and it’s just not true. And even in our program offering written coaching, I mean, that is anonymous. So if you are like, well, I don’t feel comfortable sharing around other people, that’s completely anonymous and even our group coaching is can be anonymous. I mean, we would hear your voice, but we wouldn’t hear your name or your face. So it’s completely fine to do that.

And I mean, here’s the thing. You get to do what you want. If you want one on one coaching, there are one on one coaches out there, and you can totally benefit from that. But I will tell you that there’s a reason I stopped offering it. And it’s because in a lot of cases, it was really holding people back from getting the movement forward that they were wanting. So I think the invitation is to question what we believe is just like hard facts. True. 

Like, is it really? Do I really have to have that? Why do I think I need that? Like, what if that just were not true? What am I withholding from myself because I believe that? What am I not allowing into my life because of that belief? Something to consider, right? So okay, that’s part two. That is part two of Weight Loss Coaching Mythbuster edition. That’s part two. All right. And then our final part three next week we’re going to talk more about like actually digging in and doing it. You know what I mean. Those we’re going to talk about. So can’t wait to have you come join me then. All right. I’ll see you then. Have a great week. Take care. Bye.