Ep #398: Part 3 – Weight Loss Coaching Myth Busters Series

Well, hello there, my friend. Welcome to today’s episode. It’s part three of the Weight Loss Coaching Myth Busters Edition episode part three of the series, and I’m excited to kind of finish this up. Wrap it up with you. 

 

Today we’re going to be talking a little bit more about participating in coaching, participating in a weight loss coaching program, or just coaching in general, and just kind of talking about some of the resistance that sometimes folks have when they’re thinking about this. And by resistance, I don’t even mean that, like in a bad way. I mean, just kind of like apprehension, doubts, just not really sure. Trying to figure out if something is the right fit for them. And so my aim for this episode is to help you to figure out what will be the best fit for you, but also helping to clear up any myths that you might currently believe are true, that might be holding you back from getting whatever help is best for you. So again, not trying to convince anybody to do anything that they don’t want to do or isn’t right for them, but also just to clear up.

 

[00:01:40] Like I said, a lot of these myths, these misconceptions and things that people aren’t quite clear on when it comes to this. So all right, let’s talk about it. I’m going to start with some heavy hitters here. How about this one. Only people with problems need life coaching. And by problems like really like oh that person has problems. This is something that’s common concern, right? Like if I go into a coaching program, then. Ooh, what does that mean about me? A lot of people have been raised to believe that being super self-sufficient and independent and not relying on anybody else is not only the right thing to do, but it’s like ideal. Like, you definitely should just handle your own stuff. 

 

Just don’t get other people involved, Whatever concerns that might be about what potentially could possibly happen if you are involved in life coaching, it’s understandable that if you’ve been raised with those concerns, that you would have to basically do an identity shift to be able to allow yourself to become somebody who needs life coaching, who’s just like a normal human. Because guess what? We all have problems. We don’t have to compare our problems. We don’t have to. Another thing I hear from people is like, well, compared to other people, my life is amazing so I shouldn’t complain. Like so. Sue. Everybody has challenges and struggles no matter what their life looks like.

 

[00:03:06] And yeah, some are probably more devastating than others. And also we don’t have to compare what’s not like. You don’t get to feel the way you do or have the experience you do because somebody has it worse. That just doesn’t make any sense and certainly doesn’t help that other person. And it doesn’t help you. So everyone loses when we think about it in that way. I also think that when it’s like only people with problems need life coaching. I mean, and that’s inherently steeped in judgment, just like it’s something bad. 

 

It says something negative about a person who decides to pursue life coaching or get help in that way. And any time that our thoughts are pretty judgmental in that way, we have the opportunity to look at that and go, okay, so we’re worried that other people are going to be judgmental, but like, look at me. I’m judgmental. And not to get mad at ourselves or shame ourselves or anything, but just to go like, wow, I have some pretty negative thoughts maybe about this yet. Maybe there’s part of me that wants this help and so how can I reconcile those things? 

 

Could it be that, you know what I’ve heard about life coaching or my past experiences or, you know, maybe I know somebody who’s done it, and just what I know about them makes me come to these conclusions that try to exclude me from getting this help that potentially could make a really big difference in my life, you know, really improve things a lot.

 

[00:04:31] So it’s like only people with problems need life coaching. Well guess what then? Everyone needs life coaching. Because everybody has problems. Everyone. All of us. Sometimes they’re big problems, sometimes they’re small, sometimes they’re in between. And all of them are important. And all of them deserve being dealt with and being supported through. So yeah, only people with problems need life coaching. Guess what? Yes they do. All of us need life coaching to help us. All of us could benefit for sure. All right, how about the next one? 

 

I can’t join the program if I only have a few pounds to lose. Right. Like. And I would say there may be programs where it’s like, yeah, if you have a few pounds to lose, you shouldn’t join because it’s not the right fit. So it’s a legitimate question to ask and something to explore, but to just decide in advance. Oh, I only have a couple pounds to lose, so it just doesn’t make sense for me to join or I can’t join. It’s just. No. The one thing that a lot of people have done over the years that I always find interesting is they’ll say, well, if I have 5 pounds to lose and the program costs X amount, that’s X amount of dollars or Y amount of dollars per pound. And I always think to myself, that is the worst way to think about it.

 

[00:05:41] Like, why would you think about it in that way? Because it’s not like it’s not a price per pound. You can lose them for free by just not eating for a week. I mean, right, like it’s that’s not the goal. The goal is not to get those pounds off. There’s a million ways you can do that that are free or very inexpensive. That’s not the way to think about it. The way to think about it is I want to change my relationship with myself, my relationship with the food, the way I think about food, the way I think about my life and how food plays into that. 

 

And the result of that will be I’ll lose a few pounds, but there will also be several other, probably way more than several other results that will be life changing and way more beneficial and impactful to you than weighing a couple pounds less. I think when I hear that, I think about it like, oh my gosh, this person really thinks that these couple few pounds are so, so, so important and those couple of few pounds are just a manifestation of how food is used to help to counteract other issues in this person’s life. 

And what we’re going to do is we’re going to solve in other ways for those issues, so that food isn’t relied on the same way. Those pounds can go away and they can stay away.

 

[00:06:51] That’s the way to think about it. So what is the value of that experience? Right? I mean, a lot of people are like, I pay a lot of money for that. That’s pretty priceless. Like to be able to feel totally better in my life, enjoy my life better so I don’t need to use food to feel better. I mean, it’s hard to put a price on that. Amazing. Okay, next one talking about my feelings is going to make me want to eat more. That’s a really interesting one, right? Kind of that idea of like, yeah, but if I really start digging into this, it’s actually going to get worse and I’m going to gain weight. 

 

And I understand that concern, I really do. I actually really feel for somebody who has that concern. Like if I start looking at it, what am I going to find? It’s going to be so bad. I’m going to just eat more and more and more. I can see if you believe that will be true about you, that you would be reluctant to look into that. And what I would say about that is anything could happen. Yeah, that could happen. But there are ways of going about this so that it is more manageable. It’s like you don’t have to rip off the entire, not even just the band aid, but like the entire wound dressing all at once. Like, you can do this in a step wise approach.

 

[00:08:01] I mean, I take people through a stepwise approach, and even if that is is too fast or too much, you can focus on just one area, one small area where it does feel more manageable and where you feel like you can work through it without feeling like you need to dive into food. And that will be so beneficial to you because the progress that you make in that one area, you start to extrapolate to the other areas in your life. That’s one thing that I think a lot of. It’s like a big misconception so many people don’t realize about life coaching is you might be like, yeah, but there’s like 17 different areas of my life where I want to make improvements.

 

How am I going to work on them all at once? Well, you’re not you’re going to pick one or maybe two if they kind of go hand in hand and you’re going to work on those areas and you’re going to make progress in those areas. So first of all, you’re making progress there, which is amazing. And then you will have developed skills that you will start to apply to those other areas. It’s not like it’s 17 different things, right? You start in one place and then you build upon it and you apply what you learn to this area and that area and the other area. And it’s kind of like the dominoes start to fall and it’s much easier and it kind of flows.

 

[00:09:14] Once you’ve started doing that work. So I think even just recognizing that’s a concern, like I’m afraid if I start talking about this, I’m going to eat everything like even that. We can coach on even that concern. We can coach on. We can work on figuring out a plan and a way to work through it all so you feel supported so you don’t end up needing to do that. So good. All right. They in quotes, they don’t know what it’s like to struggle with weight. Right. So sometimes we are getting other people in our lives the proverbial they sometimes we are getting pressure from them that you don’t need to sign up for life coaching. 

 

Why would you need to do this whole program? Like you just need to eat less and move more and then you wouldn’t have a problem. And so in terms of making the decision, getting that help could be opinions from other people or just what you’ve heard. You just kind of like, oh, like the fact that I’m even in a place where I need this help doesn’t feel great. And even just recognizing that, I think is helpful, just recognizing like I don’t feel understood. I feel like this is like a personal deficiency, that I can’t figure this out on my own. And I really hate the fact that my next steps are to get help with some coaching. But I’m really kind of reluctant because I just really wish it wasn’t this way.

 

[00:10:35] That’s really good to recognize too, right? Even just like airing that out and going, like, I don’t even want to be the person who needs this help. Then we can start going, like, okay, now we can soften to that a little bit, okay. Don’t want to be that person. So how about I learn to be the person who no longer needs to struggle with weight and coaching will help me to do that, right? I want to be a different person. Cool. 

We will help you to become that person that you want to be. 

 

We can totally do that. So good. Okay, there’s too much in the program for me to have time for it. I think a lot of people will worry about that. Like, how am I going to dedicate enough time? I mean, obviously it’s something that you do need to dedicate some time to. I always say, does it need to be a part time job? No. Is it something you do have to devote some time to, though? Yeah, absolutely you do. And so are there times in life where it’s not the right time? Most certainly, of course, I think definitely. But also a lot of us are like living in that kind of fallacy that we’re going to arrive sometime. We’re going to get to that place where things are so much better and things have settled down and it’s quieter and like then I’m going to be able to dig in, and by that time never comes.

 

[00:11:42] There’s always something. And so what we have to learn to do is this work while life is still happening, because that is life. If we could carve out a six month period where everything was calm and nothing was really going wrong and all of that like it would be pretty easy probably to lose that weight. But then when you went back into normal life, then what would happen? You wouldn’t know how to keep doing all this stuff and supporting yourself actually, to a certain extent, kind of in a weird way, happened to a lot of people who tried to lose weight during Covid during 2020 and 2021. 

 

They’re like, hey, I can’t go anywhere or do anything. I’m gonna lose weight. And it’s a lot of people had a lot of great results. And then as soon as things started opening back up again, they were like, oh, I have not built any skills around traveling or going to events or going out with people or going to to fun stuff and doing things where there’s people who have food and all of that. And then they really struggled. So we kind of have this idea of like, oh, I need to kind of have this time in my life where things are much more settled down. I mean, you can, but then you’re also going to still have to learn how to do it when things aren’t so calm.

 

[00:12:47] So I just kind of look at it like, yes. Are there times that it just doesn’t make sense? Sure. But a lot of the time that we think that it doesn’t make sense, we’re not totally right. I think there’s a lot of times when we could really be doing it, if that’s what we want. And so, you know, we think there’s too much in the program for me to have time for it. But we also have to recognize is that we don’t have to do everything in the program. I mean, my program is structured so that people can get the help in the way that works for them. 

 

Some people are going to enjoy this type of thing more than that type of thing, and others will be the reverse. And so we have both to suit both people, both types of people. But it doesn’t mean that you need to do both to have success. That’s the most important thing. I always like to think about joining any kind of program or anything like that with the following mindset, which is I’m here and I’m going to get out of this what I came for. It’s my job to get out of this, what I came for. So what am I here for? And how can I go about getting what I need from this? And I has never failed me to think about it in that way, because then I’m not like, okay, well, this person says I have to do all these things.

 

[00:14:03] I’m like, yeah, that’s not really for me, that thing or that’s just not something I’m really want to focus on right now. Great, then I won’t do that. I’ll focus on this other thing. That is what I want to focus on. So I get what I came here for and I would encourage you to, whether you join me in my program or you do coaching with somebody else, I would encourage you to approach it in a similar way. And then that way you can do the amount of work or program content that you do have time for that does work for you and still get the results that you want. A simpler one is I don’t have time with my kids activities and traveling, like I said. 

 

I mean, that’s life, right? Like what I’ve actually been finding, I kept thinking like, oh, the kids, when they get older, they don’t need you so much. Well, they just need you in a different way. It’s not less, it’s just different. And it is maybe less physically taxing, but more mentally emotionally taxing. At times it’s just different. It’s just different. So again, figuring out ways to make it work is really important. What I will tell you is that during traveling is a great time to do this type of work. I’ve done tons of it while traveling because you’re on a plane, or you’re on a train, or in a car or whatever, there’s so much that you can do when you’re traveling.

 

[00:15:19] It’s actually a great time to work through this. Also, with kids activities, often you are waiting, which is another great time. Like you’ve dropped them off and you’re waiting. Another great time to be working on this stuff. So often you just have to kind of look at like, where is there potential space for me? Instead of sitting around talking to the other moms for an hour, maybe I could do that for 20 or 30 minutes and spend 20 or 30 minutes on this program. Right? Like there’s absolutely ways that you can fit this in to your life. You just have to decide that you want to and that you’re going to and get creative and solutions focused on how you can do all of that. 

 

All right. Another one is I need to finish every worksheet to get my money’s worth. So some people think of that like I have to. It’s kind of similar to what I talked about before is like, I have to touch every single element and complete like dot every I cross every t, look at every single thing. In order for me to deem this experience a success and that I got what I came for And that is just a way to make sure that you’re disappointed in yourself. I think if you think about it in that way, because really, the way you’re going to know you got your money’s worth is did you get the results you came for? Because it’s not the doing of the things that means anything.

 

[00:16:33] You could finish every worksheet and have made zero progress. Would you still say that you got your money’s worth? Like, and what I mean by doing them all and getting zero progress would be like, if you’re just like, phoning it in and writing stuff down, but not really applying it to your life and actually taking action and stuff. So the way to get your money’s worth is to create a result. And the way you create a result is by changing the way you think and feel and by taking action. And it has nothing to do with the number of things that you did, or how much of certain activities you did, or things like that. 

 

What you’re paying for is the transformation is the change, not the worksheets. Know what I mean? All right. I don’t have the capacity for thought work right now. I mean, I think also there’s a right time and a wrong time for things in our lives. So we again, we you have to filter this through like what is actually going on. But a lot of times I will find that people are like, oh, this one thing happened to me in my life, I can’t do it now. And I would just argue that is the perfect time to do it right.

 

[00:17:38] Like that’s the time to get that support. We’ve over the years, had so many people who have been so grateful that they’ve been in our program when some big life thing happened, because they ordinarily would have used that as an excuse to not sign up, but because they were in the program, they’re like, well, let me get some coaching help on this. And it was so, so, so beneficial. Many times afterward, they’ll say, if that had happened to me before, I would have eaten my way through that entire experience. 

 

And I’m so proud to say that is not what I did because I had coaching in my life. I think when it’s like I don’t have the capacity for thought work right now, I would just kind of look at it like, well, but what do you even think that looks like? What do you think the thought work requires of you? Like if you say you don’t have capacity for it, but then what is it that you don’t have capacity for? Right. It’s I kind of look at it like, but if you have capacity for like pain and suffering and struggle and anger and resentment and like all the different emotions that that people go through day to day, it’s like you probably do have some capacity to explore some of that, and to look at it and figure out if there’s a better way that doesn’t feel so difficult for you. So again, I’m not over here trying to convince people to do this work.

 

[00:18:55] If they don’t want to do it, cool, then don’t do it like I understand. But if it’s something you want to do that you feel attracted to, that you feel some sort of pull toward that you believe would help you, then I would look at it like, well, I’m going to use coaching to help me figure out how to create the capacity to do the thought work. That’s how I’d suggest looking at it, instead of just telling yourself what you can’t do or what you don’t have, telling yourself, I’m going to go find a solution so I can do it. That’s, I think, the best way to look at it. 

 

Okay, so I think the last one, the last myth that I’m busting in this three part series is I want to get pregnant in the near future, and so I can’t join the program. And so I touched on that briefly before about the eating. But I think that honestly, well, I’ve worked with many women who have been in a similar position trying to conceive while they’ve been in the program with us, and it’s honestly been super beneficial for so many of them. There can be a lot of stress around trying to conceive, and sometimes it doesn’t happen like super instantly. And having coaching support during that can be super helpful. Definitely you can still work on losing weight while you’re trying to conceive.

 

[00:20:08] As soon as you find out you’re pregnant, you should stop trying to lose weight. But depending on your body and your doctor’s recommendations, I mean, there definitely are some people who are recommended to not gain any weight or to gain very little weight while they’re pregnant and being in a program can be very beneficial to that. So you don’t end up gaining much more than what’s recommended. And it’s I always think of it as like, what’s cool is if you’re pregnant, then you’re not sitting there trying to lose all this weight. 

 

You can focus on the mindset stuff even more, and I think it really helps pregnant women. That can be a difficult time for a variety of reasons physically, emotionally, things like that. It’s a big transition in life and having coaching support during that and learning how to manage your mind and learning how to not use food to help you through that, which is what so many pregnant women do, is an incredible, incredible gift. And then the other cool thing is that then you have the baby, and so many people are like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? And how am I going to get the weight off? And what am I all that? And instead you’re like, cool, I know what I’m doing. Like, you’ve got it right. Like it’s totally a healthy way to support yourself. Support, baby. It’s like helpful with breast milk production and all of that.

 

[00:21:16] And it’s just not a reason at all not to get this help right away, right when it’s available and could really help you. All right, friend? Well thank you, I’ve. That was a lot of myths that I busted over the last three weeks. There’s a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun, actually, for me to be able to talk about all these things and just kind of lay it out there, like, here it all is. This is the deal. And hopefully clarify some things for you. And of course, if you have any other additional questions about joining us in my program, you can always reach out to us and ask those questions. 

 

But otherwise I’m still I’m a huge, huge believer in coaching as a solution for struggling with food and overeating and the weight gain that often comes with that and to support you as you’re losing weight. I, I can’t imagine how people would do it without that. And honestly, if you think about it, the majority of people who lose weight don’t keep it off. So it’s probably because it’s missing this level of support. So weight loss coaching is amazing and I encourage you to explore it. All right. 

 

Thank you so much for your attention. Have a wonderful rest of your week. We’ll talk to you soon. Bye. Ready to start making progress on your weight loss goals? For lots of free help, go to katrinaubellmd.com and click on Free Resources.