Welcome to the Weight Loss for Busy Physicians podcast. I'm your host, master Certified life and weight loss coach, Katrina Ubell, M.D. This is the podcast where busy doctors like you come to learn how to lose weight for the last time by harnessing the power of your mind. If you're looking to overcome your stress, eating and exhaustion and move into freedom around food, you're in the right place. Well, hello there, my friend. Welcome to today's episode. This is one that's been simmering away on the back burner for months and months and months and months. And I am so glad and happy to be able to present it to you today. I mean, I'm talking like we're getting to about a year now or so where this one's been simmering. And I have [00:01:00] mentioned before that sometimes I come up with an episode idea and I'm ready to do it immediately.

And sometimes I've got this idea, but it's not fully fleshed out yet. I'm not sure entirely exactly what I want to say yet. And so I kind of think of it like it's just like a little slow simmer on the back burner, just getting ready, waiting for the little seasoning so that when it's ready, I can bring it to you. And today's episode is one of those. And what's actually kind of cool is this one aligns a little bit this coming Saturday. If you're listening to this, the week that it was released, this coming Saturday is actually Women's Equality Day.

[00:01:38] And in the US Women's Equality Day commemorates the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, which granted women the constitutional right to vote in the US in 1920. And so it's kind of interesting to call it Women's Equality Day because it also sort of at least to me, it sort of seems like, hey, we're celebrating that [00:02:00] women are equal. And I think that that was a big step. It's nice to, you know, obviously commemorate that and stuff, but there's obviously still a lot of progress that's needed before women would be considered equal. But it's still kind of a good time to think about the progress that has been made.

I'd like to just think about all the women who just worked so hard for women's suffrage, you know, and that get to benefit from that and just, you know, kind of having some gratitude for them. But I think it's also a good time to think about women's rights in general and just sort of a way that we might even individually kind of work on moving that forward. And to a certain extent, today's topic kind of factors in with that in a little bit of a different way, not from a like legal or political or law based kind of a standpoint, but more from the standpoint of the way that we treat one another or the way we think about ourselves and, you know, the effects of our words and our views [00:03:00] not only on ourselves, but particularly on others too.

[00:03:03] So if you happen to read the title of this episode, then you might be a little bit intrigued. It's called You Are Allowed to Lose Weight. You might have also just kind of let your phone pick the next thing. Maybe you didn't pick it up, but you are allowed to lose weight now. I'd be so curious to know what your thoughts were when you read that. You might be like, Yeah, no duh, of course I'm allowed to do that. But actually a lot of women don't fully believe that. So something interesting happened. I mean, listen, the history of weight loss and messages to women about their bodies goes way back. And so I'm not gonna make this into a history lesson for you, but I will say that probably about a year ago, maybe about nine months, but about a year ish ago, I started noticing that there was some more intense messaging, particularly on [00:04:00] the Internet.

But just like in general messaging towards women, that it was not okay to lose weight. It was a situation where if a woman lost weight, since of course, this is something that we work on that people can see on our bodies, unlike other things that we might work on, where people can't actually physically see it. If some women did this, they would come under fire. This has happened with some celebrities. If they've lost weight and this is like, well, even before a year ago, that this has sometimes happened where people will get really, really upset and really tell them that they shouldn't have done that and say all kinds of like really nasty things, quite honestly, like really shaming them.

[00:04:43] And, you know, that's celebrities, but even not celebrities, like regular people who are trying to engage on the Internet in particular, have been feeling more and more shamed, interestingly, by other women for either wanting to lose weight [00:05:00] or actually losing weight. They will tell them that by losing weight, they're all kinds of things, but like they're succumbing to the patriarchy. They are anti-feminists. They tell them, You should really just be happy where you are. I think where things like the plot got lost a little bit is with the body positivity movement and the body Positivity movement has a lot of really amazing after effects and you know, a lot of really positive things.

But like a lot of things, sometimes the pendulum starts to swing a bit too far. And then some people have been saying and telling other women that it's like straight up wrong to lose weight, that like, you're a bad person if you lose weight, you know, just really, really shaming other people. And what I've been seeing recently, even over the last like 3 to 4 months more, is now with the advent and adoption [00:06:00] kind of more widespread adoption of the GLP agonist medications and now a one GLP one agonist combo medication available.

[00:06:10] And you know, people are using them more now. Everyone's shaming people for using medications. It's like the shaming is endless, like and I laugh about it only because like it's just almost to a degree comical how. It. People just continually believe that it is very much important in their right to tell women what they should and shouldn't do with their bodies in particular. And I'm not even going to get into all the other things about bodies that has been, you know, more in, you know, recent conversations, because that's outside of the scope of what we're talking about here. But what I've really realized is that the judging and the shaming is truly endless.

It's like there's not one thing that [00:07:00] you can do without somebody out there wanting to judge you or shame you or tell you that you're doing something wrong. And I do think that for some people it's well intentioned in the sense that they've had bad experiences. They have tried to to lose weight maybe in ways that were really not supportive at all for them. And they don't want other women to suffer in that way. But the way they're going about it is actually contributing to more shame rather than just educating women and actually empowering them, you know, I mean, I love going to target and looking up from the swimsuit aisle and seeing the models that they're using, you know, to model the swimsuits, like reflecting what the larger population looks like.

[00:07:48] I think that's amazing. I think that there have really been some shifts and changes that I think are really, really good. But I also think that telling people that they [00:08:00] are not allowed to lose weight or that they can't do that or shouldn't do that, and not only just telling them, but really forcefully, really aggressively, really not in a kind way. I do not think that that is okay. What it really boils down to is that adults get to do whatever they want to do as long as it's legal. And even sometimes when it's illegal, they still do it right. And that includes women. Like women get to do whatever they want to do with their bodies as well. Right.

There's like this assumption that if you are losing weight. Then you're hating yourself by doing it, that you're doing it from this place of disgust, from self loathing, that you're not doing it in any kind of way that's sustainable. Like people who are trying to lose weight. Like people will tell them like, you know, this won't work. You know, you can't do this. [00:09:00] It's like what they're really doing is they're basically opening up their brains and spewing out all their beliefs that they think support them and think that everybody should believe the same thing that they believe. And yeah, it's a bit messy. It's like, that's not cool. Just because you believe something doesn't mean that everybody has to believe the same thing or that everyone is going to or has to have the same experience that you've had, you know? So I see this now where I just recently got an email from somebody who was letting me know that my book had given them, you know, some amazing results and that she had also started on one of the GLP one agonists.

[00:09:43] And it was interesting because she was like, Oh, but it's just a really small dose and I'm not even using it every week. I'm like stretching it out more. And I thought to myself, I wonder why she felt the need to tell me that. Right. Like it's still this. It's almost like an apology. Like, you know, I'm [00:10:00] sorry I had to, you know, get this help, but, like, it's only just a little bit and I'm still doing all this other stuff. And I thought to myself, like, who cares? Do what, however, works for you. And I mean this from like a loving, supporting place. Like, if that's the right thing for you, go for it.

Absolutely go for it. If your body is tolerating it well and you're feeling good and your body's responding. Absolutely. Like do what you need to do. Like we need to be supporting and lifting each other up, empowering one another to reach our goals in ways that are supportive rather than telling each other what we can't do because that's really what's been happening, you know? So I have a few things that I just want to share with you because this is the truth as I see it.

[00:10:50] And I think this is a really important thing for me to let you know. And this has you know, if you never work with me, you never listen to another episode. [00:11:00] Absolutely fine. If you can just absorb this, uh, I'll feel like I've made a difference. So here you go. You get to decide what body you want to live in. It is nobody else's choice but yours. Like nobody else can tell you that you can't make a change when you want to. Right. Nobody can know what it's like to be you. Nobody can know how. And what you struggle with saying to somebody, Oh, you can't lose weight or you shouldn't lose weight. Or if you're losing weight, you're, you know, a bad feminist, you're like on a fool's errand.

Whatever the things are that people say to one another, like, we don't know what that person is struggling with. We have no idea what might be going on for them mentally, physically, spiritually. [00:12:00] We have no idea what the actual problem is. And because we can tell if someone is working on it because of the result on their body, right? It's like we're basically telling them like, would you tell someone who's suffering with really struggling with binge eating that they can't work on that. No, of course. Why would they have to continue to suffer and struggle with that? So assuming that, you know, women can't work on stopping with their obsession about food.

[00:12:34] So if you say someone can't lose weight, then they just are destined to struggle and suffer and feel physically bad and emotionally bad and like they can't work on that. Like that makes no sense. Like literal, no sense at all. So I want you to know when people. Come across forcefully and they may not be coming directly at you, but you may be reading particularly [00:13:00] on social media, what they're saying, or you might be seeing comments or you might be watching videos or things like that when they're telling you what's best for you. I really, really want you to remember this. Only you can ever know what is best for you.

There is not one single person out there, including me, who knows better than you, how to live your life. Or what would be the right move for you? Okay. We can have opinions. We can give guidance, but you are going to be the one who knows the best. And if you're able to connect to that, you know, inner state of knowing that gut feeling, that intuition, like whatever it is, whatever word you call it, or however you connect to it, if you're able to connect to that. You will know what is the right thing to do because it will let you know. You will know what to do and you don't need anyone's [00:14:00] permission.

[00:14:01] You don't need anybody to agree. And I will say that it can be very hard. Like say, you know, the majority of your friends believe that, you know what we've just been talking about and. They think that nobody should lose weight and you decide to do something different. Like it's possible that you might lose some friendships over this. It's possible that some family members might feel alienated or might come after you. And, you know, that is something that's actually something that we work on in the weight loss for doctors only program a lot like how do we approach that?

How do we get to do what we want to do, what's best and right for us and still be able to interact with people in an effective way? You know? And sometimes it's as simple as setting a boundary or changing the subject or letting people know what kind of conversation we're available for or things like that. But really, when you come and you can get down to that core understanding that no one can tell you how to live your life better than you, things [00:15:00] clear up significantly. It becomes a lot easier to figure out what you should be doing next. Next, Telling someone that they can't change when they want to is not empowering them. And in fact, it's not even acceptable. And like I said, I think some people are thinking like, no, but I'm just helping you.

[00:15:19] I'm just letting you off the hook. Like you don't have to struggle like this anymore thinking like, you know, it's freeing to them to just say, Hey, you can just love yourself exactly the way you are. Yeah, of course you can. Absolutely. I'm a huge fan of that. But there are a lot of people who are like, Yeah, and I still struggle and I still want to. Stop having all this chatter around food. I still want to feel like I have peace and freedom around food. And here's the thing. When you eat the amount of food that your body needs and maybe occasionally a little extra for pleasure or just maybe it's not the most supportive food, but you have it for pleasure's purpose.

Like [00:16:00] if you've been overeating, like you will lose weight. Most likely that will probably happen. And so when people are telling you that this is, you know, you can't change, it's like they don't know what's going on. They don't know what's going on health wise for you. And same if you found yourself sometimes giving people strong advice or maybe sometimes even possibly using your clout as a doctor to let people know what your personal beliefs are, not what's actually possible for people. So once again, no one knows how to live your life better than you do. This is really, really important. Same goes that we can't ever know how to live someone else's life better than they do.

[00:16:44] Okay, so this applies to everybody. So when we struggle with other people and their decisions and think that they should be doing this, that or the other thing. No one can know how to live someone else's life better than they do. We cannot know what they're struggling [00:17:00] with. What they need to overcome to make a change is a very personal thing. Doesn't mean that we can't encourage people, but being more forceful typically doesn't help. So if you have the desire to end your emotional eating or just general overeating and that results in weight loss, you are not doing anything wrong. You are allowed to lose weight.

The same goes for health issues. You may have some health issues. You may have some lab tests come back or a new diagnosis of something and you go, Yeah, you know what? Okay, I'm going to this is time to make a change here. And then people come at you with like, you can't do that. No. Or like, well, you know, you're healthy at any size. People are healthy at any size. Well, I think that it is possible to be healthy at any size, but it doesn't mean that everybody at any size is healthy. Right? Like if there is an issue, we all reserve the right to do whatever we need to do. To [00:18:00] take care of it or to address it to the best of our ability. Right? Like you're not doing anything wrong if that's what you decide you want to do.

[00:18:10] I have a friend who is a coach and she coaches women on a totally different subject. But she has told me because she works with a lot of people one on one, she has told me how many women have come to her and almost like whispering to her mean it's just the two of them talking, but almost whispering, say, I kind of want to lose weight. Is that okay? Am I allowed to lose weight? Like, this is something they are really struggling with. They, honest to goodness are really concerned that it would not be okay for them to lose weight even though they have the desire to do it. Let's just stop with that. Can we agree to that?
Can we just agree that we're not going to do that anymore? We're going to encourage other women to do what they want to do and help to empower them to know that there is a way that they can accomplish [00:19:00] their goals. That doesn't sacrifice themselves, that doesn't make things worse, that doesn't create an eating disorder or another, you know, problem in their lives. Right. That they are allowed to do whatever they want to do and figure out a way to do it in a way that is very supportive, ongoing, sustainable result for them. The more we believe in each other's ability to solve our problems. That's what really actually will empower women. That's what actually will really solve the problem.

[00:19:35] And for plenty of women, they will go, Yeah, you know what? I'm going to stop sitting here and thinking that I need to be rail thin and am going to accept, you know, myself as I am. And also because I do that I'm going to stop eating in a way that hurts my body. I'm going to start moving my body in a way that actually is positive. And if that changes the way my body is shaped, then I'm okay with that. It's not going to be a big deal [00:20:00] either way. So you are allowed to lose weight. That is my message to you. If you know anybody who you feel could benefit from this message, I encourage you to share this episode.

And yeah, you know, as we move forward in this life, if this comes up, you start feeling judged, shamed. That is not about you. That is somebody else sharing their beliefs and putting them on you and you get to decide what you think. Okay, There's no shame police out there deciding who has to be shamed and who doesn't. You are the only one who can know what's best for you. And with that, I'm going to end this episode. I wish you a great week. I hope that this gives you something to mull over and think about, and I'll talk to you next week. Take care. Bye bye. Ready to start making progress on your weight loss goals. For lots of free help, go to katrinaubellmd.com and click on Free Resources.