Ep #290: Your Bigger, Better Future

Katrina Ubell: Well, hello there my friend, how are you today? Everything I'm doing now I  just feel like I'm just hearing my voice, listening to my voice more. And the  reason for that is because I auditioned to be the narrator of my book in the form of an audio book and I was accepted. Hooray! I get to narrate my own  audio book. 

Now, some people might be like, “Wait, what? They can decide that you can't do it?” And yes, when you work with a traditional publisher, they can  decide that. And to be honest, if you really think about it, it makes sense. I don't know if you've ever listened to an audio book where maybe the  person wasn't so great and was kind of boring, and that's not so good for  the book. Who narrates it is important in terms of their ability. 

Now, I personally always, always, always prefer when the author reads the  book, if I'm going to listen to an audio book. And in fact, I have not actually  purchased certain audio books because it wasn't the author reading it.

Now, not to say anything against that author, anything against that book,  it's probably better for the book. I just personally really, really, really love to  hear the message of the book, particularly non-fiction coming from the  author because it's their story often. So, I personally prefer that. 

Anyway, it's kind of a big deal. So, I just want to say big deal in the sense  that when it sounds easy, that's because the person doing it is so skillful  that they make it sound easy. So, I know I've done this podcast for many, many years now, and it sounds like this is just very, very easy, but I also don't script this. I don't sit here and read an episode to you. And so, reading  what's actually in text is different. And to make it sound interesting… I don't  even want to say it's hard. It just requires a lot of attention and focus and  presence. 

So, I don't know about you, but there have been many times in my life,  particularly if you have children or if you've ever read a story to a small child, when you read the same stories again and again, and it's nighttime,  you're snuggling or whatever before bed — I mean, the number of times  I've read a book out loud where my brain was actually somewhere  completely different, I mean, I can't even count. 

Like we're not actually present, we're just saying it. And maybe we're even  emoting and making it sound interesting, but mentally, we're not there. You cannot do that even for one second with the book. 

So, I actually worked with my audiobook producer and did a bit of a call with her, she gave me some feedback and coaching and it was amazing, super helpful. But what I realized is that like if you lose focus for just a  moment, like if for one moment you're just saying the words while you're  scrolling or like focusing on not losing your place while you're reading or  something, that can be heard. And when hearing the voice is the only medium, you just can't do that. 

Now, the good news is it's not a live performance. So, I totally can just stop and redo it anytime I need to. But I start tomorrow. So, I'm really excited  about that. I've been thinking a lot about just how I say things and how things can be conversational and literally, envisioning you on the other  side. 

Like it's just me having a conversation with you, just this one person on the  other side of the microphone, and I'm just talking to you and it should sound natural in that way. And so, I just want to do a really good job for you  because I don't want any performance that I do to somehow hinder or  detract from the book in any way or the messaging, because I think it's so  important to get that out into the world. 

So, in case you're new and you're like, “What's this book?” I have a book called How to Lose Weight for the Last Time: Brain-Based Solutions for  Permanent Weight Loss that's going to be published on September 20th.  And so, I'm very excited about that and I'm going to be recording the audio  book. So, it's five full days of my life. Hopefully, not many more than that.  Hopefully, five days will cut it. 

I kind of have a feeling that once I get the hang of it and I get on a roll, it'll be less than the five days, but you know what, it's okay if it takes five days,  that's okay too. There's no rush. Just want to do a good job. And I think that  once tomorrow is over with, I have that first day under my belt and I have  some comfort with the director, and all the people in the sound studio (I actually am going to a sound studio to record it), I think it'll just start to feel  a lot more comfortable and like, “Oh, I know how to do this.” 

And I mean, if I'm being a hundred percent honest, I have a little anxiety  about it, which is probably good. It's like that excitement-fear combo is  what's going on. 

But there's a lot of other amazing things going on as well that I'm really  excited about. If you've been around for any length of time, you know that I  have a continuation program for my Weight Loss for Doctors Only Program.  And so, the two programs are called Masters and VIP. They're both  continuation programs. 

And once a quarter, every three months, we do a live event for them. And  we have a virtual live event coming up this weekend that I'm really, really  excited about. I just super love the topic and we're actually kind of changing  up the format a little bit in a way that I'm very excited about. 

So, we used to do those — when I first started those, it was pre-COVID.  We did them all in-person. And then of course, like everybody, we  transitioned to virtual with COVID and really kind of hit our groove, like  found a good way to do it that really worked for everybody. But then we just  kind of started thinking like, let's just change it up.

Novelty is something that's exciting for everybody, and I'm excited about  what we have going on for that. And then, we actually have enrollment for  Masters and VIP starting in just two days. And we have some really  awesome things that we're going to be offering the people who are going to  be signing up. 

We are doing all these kind of book-related things, because to be honest, I  mean, it's really my clients who've inspired the book. It's just a way of me  saying thank you for being you, for being a part of the program, and for  continuing to show up again and again, and for inspiring me. 

So, we're doing a speaker series. In the book, I actually teach several  different ways to process emotions and I'm bringing in some experts into  the program to go deeper, to take us through an experiential kind of  workshop experience where we will go deeper on certain things that I talk  about in the book, such as tapping, processing trauma, embodied  movement, things like that. Can't wait for that. 

We just secured all of the speakers, very excited about that. They're all  amazing. And then our next Masters Live, which will be in November, we're  building out into what we're calling book-travaganza because we have our Masters Live event on Saturday, but we're taking it on the road. We're going to Houston, Texas, because it's centrally located, easy to get to from  most places in North America, and a little warmer than Milwaukee where I  live in November. So, hopefully, we can spend some time outside. 

And so, we're going to have a big party the night before to celebrate the  book and we're going to have, of course, our amazing Masters Live event,  which is just so great on Saturday. And then Sunday morning, we're going  to have some other things as well. It's going to be so, so fun. 

And what's so cool is that it is actually included in the program price. Like  we're not charging anybody who's an active client to come to that. So, that's super fun. 

And we're also inviting any of our inactive clients because for some people,  they feel like they've graduated and they got out of the program what they  needed and they're living their best life, but they still want to come back  and celebrate with us and kind of reconnect with some of their friends, and  maybe meet some new ones.

And so, we are inviting all our inactive clients. We don't use old clients  here. Sometimes we call them alumna, but anybody who is not currently in  a program to be able to purchase a ticket to come as well. So, if that's you  and you haven't gotten anything in your email, you're going to want to  reach out to us because we definitely want you to come if you can. 

And then, it even gets better. So, anybody who joins our Weight Loss for  Doctors Only Program, our flagship program for people just during this  process, our September group, they get to be invited to the bookstravaganza event as well. We have never, ever, ever had any members  from that program come to our live events. And we're so excited. We're like  we just want to include everybody. 

So, if you want to get a taste of that, if you want in on that event, which of  course, you will. And of course, if you want to do the work with amazing  coaching support to actually end your struggle with food and your body and  overeating, and finally, move into peace and freedom around food, you're  going to want to be in this program. 

I still have one more exciting thing that I want to tell you about. This is all so  exciting! Are you so excited? I am. 

So, we have a big announcement video that's going to be coming out  Wednesday, August 10th and I'm going to be emailing it out. So, you want  to be sure that you're on my email list so that you get it. There's two big  announcements that are really, really awesome. You don't have to be a  doctor in order to benefit from these things.

So, whether you're a doctor or not, you're going to want to make sure to get  on my email list so that you can get this information. Like I said, the email  with the video from me with some big announcements is coming out  Wednesday, August 10th. 

So, there's lots of ways to get on my email list. But right now, I think the  best way to do it is to sign up for the Overeating First Aid Kit. And this is  something that we have just brought out. It's very new. And in the first  week, we had over a thousand people already opt in for it and download  everything. 

So, I know it's definitely something that people are like, “Ooh, I need and  want this” and it's free. So, why wouldn't you get yourself hooked up? And  really, what it is, is a private podcast actually that has three different audios  I recorded to help you make the connection between all the stuff that I  teach you about your thoughts and processing emotions, and actually not  putting food in your mouth. 

Because we're like, “I'm in, I get it, I totally understand all of it, yes.” But in the moment when I want to pick up the food and insert it in my mouth, how  do I stop? This is how you stop. This is how you stop. 

So, if you have wanted any help with that, this is for sure what you want.  The way to get it is just to go to katrinaubellmd.com/kit. It's going to be  super easy to download, we give you the instructions. It goes right into your  podcast app, which makes it really easy to listen to the audios again and again. 

It's not some weird thing that you got to like figure out how to play it off your  Dropbox or something like that on your phone. It's like we made it just as  easy and really effective as possible for you. So, you want to make sure  you get on the email list. Of course, get this great Overeating First Aid Kit on the way to doing that. And then I'm going to send out this big  announcement video next week. You're going to want to make sure you get  it because it's some really exciting stuff too. 

I want to talk to you about your future. Doesn't it sound like I'm like a high  school guidance counselor? “Let's talk about your future.” But I mean it, I  actually really do want to talk to you about your future.

I think really right now, but even for a lot of people, the last several years — so, kind of think about how this applies to you because I'm pretty sure it  applies to you at least in some way. Maybe this has been going on now  since COVID hit, maybe this has been something that's just a little bit more  recent for you, maybe since the beginning of the year or the last several  months. 

But what I've been noticing is a contraction of sorts. And what I mean by  that is a shortening, a smalling (that's not a word); a contraction, it's getting  smaller and smaller and that is about your future. So, the way you see your future. 

So, when you think about maybe the late 20 teens, even though there was  a lot of political stuff going on and things were kind of crazy, at least in the  U.S. for a lot of people in a lot of ways, the economy was going well and we  were living our lives. And when we were thinking about the future, we were  allowing ourselves to think much bigger. 

We were allowing ourselves to think about next year and the year after that  and the year after that, and maybe, even a couple years after that. And  making plans and being very excited about what's to come, and really  seeing so much potential for ourselves in the future. 

Then we got a global pandemic and understandably, everything screeched  to a bit of a halt. And we were really living super day-to-day, in some cases,  hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, there were a lot of just very immediate  concerns that needed to be addressed. And we really felt like we were  living in a state of limbo. Like we didn't know what was going to be  happening. 

Like I remember when first my kids came home, it was like, they were just  going to be home for two weeks, and then they were going to go back. Two  weeks later, and of course, that was not at all how it ended up happening. 

So, we, in that process, really shortened our future, really made a small  future for ourselves because we didn't know what was going on. We  couldn't even think six months ahead, let alone a year or two or three  years. 

We were really just like, “How do I get through this next week? How do I  get through this next day? How do I get through this next shift at work?” 

And so, we didn't know what was going to be happening. It was easy to feel  frozen, to feel somewhat paralyzed. Like we just can't make decisions. We  don't know what to do because we just don't know what's going to be  happening. 

The things that we thought we could count on, we felt like we could no  longer count on them. And therefore, we didn't know what decisions to be  making moving forward. 

So, then, as the last couple of years have progressed, for some people,  they felt like they were in that limbo stage, in that kind of frozen or  paralyzed stage for quite some time. Other people have felt that maybe  towards the middle to the end of last year, things started to kind of  changing some. 

Right now, as I'm recording this, there's like tons of travel issues. And what  that means is like, people are out traveling again, like people want to go  places, and I've gone places with my family and we are kind of moving  back into living our lives the way we somewhat remember them to be in the past. 

But then what's happened in the last several months is a war broke out and  now, there appears to be a recession that's coming. And there's just all  these new things that keep coming that don't allow us or make it harder for  us to live in that state of a bigger, more expansive future. 

And the reason why it's a problem to not be looking at your life with a big  future is because when you have a narrow or small view of what's coming  ahead for you, you aren't thinking about the big picture in the sense that  you're not thinking about how small changes today will really, really  improve or benefit your life in the years to come. 

It'll feel like, well, what's the point in making that change today because I  can only see a week or a month out in my life right now. It's not going to  make a difference. It won't make a measurable difference. I won't be able  to notice the difference. 

But when we're thinking a year, two, three years in front of us, we start  going, “Well, hold on a second, three years from now, I'm really not okay  with still struggling with this. Like I have this issue that I would really like  resolved in that timeframe. And if I'm not going to be in the same place I am right now in three years, and if I'm not going to be in a worse place,  then probably, I should start making some changes. I should probably start  figuring out what the solution's going to be and start moving down the path  forward, implementing that solution in my life.” 

And so, the difference is that when we're waiting to see what happens  externally, then we are not moving forward internally. So, what we're doing  when we allow our worldview to become very small is we start going, “Well,  I need to see what happens with the economy. I need to see what happens  to gas prices, I need to see what happens to food prices. I need to see  what happens with the elections later this year.” 

Like I need to see all these external signs that it's okay to plan for the  future. That I'm okay, that I'm safe to plan for the future before I will allow  myself to do that. And in relying on things that we don't have control over,  like the economy and the prices of things and who goes to war — I mean,  we do have our say with our own votes, but ultimately, it's not our decision  individually who's voted into certain offices and things like that. 

Like when we wait for all those external things to tell us that it's okay to  start planning for the future, that actually really limits and inhibits us from  getting what we want in our lives. And then we come out of that difficult  time in the world, kind of collectively feeling kind of chewed up and spat out. 

We feel like we don't even know what happened, we’re just kind of like in a  vortex. And like here we are and time just passed and nothing has really  improved in our lives. And when I think about this, I think of my actual thirties, the decade when I was in my thirties and to a certain extent, I feel  like that's how I experienced my thirties. And the reason for that is because  of all the fertility issues that I had. 

And honestly, I should actually kind of push it to my late twenties as well,  because even when we first decided we wanted to start a family, it took me  a year and a half to get pregnant. And then after that, if you've listened to… I've talked about this ages ago, years ago on this podcast. 

But I ended up needing to do in-vitro fertilization because I wasn't able to  get pregnant again on my own, which is something I said I would never do.  And then there I was, slippery slope after going through just the stress of  trying to hide it, for my work, and it was just a lot.

And then I got pregnant, finally, did in-vitro, that was great. Then I ended up having an ovarian torsion, had to have emergency surgery while I was six  weeks pregnant. And then very sadly, even though the rest of the  pregnancy was totally normal, I ended up losing that baby hours before  birth. So, I was in labor nine days overdue and she died while I was laboring at home. 

So, that was super traumatic, as you can imagine, really, really awful. And then it was like healing from that. And then can we do in-vitro again? And then we did it again, and then it worked and then I was pregnant, but like terrified that I was going to lose this baby too. 

And then had that baby, and then that baby had significant feeding issues.  And I was just, oh my gosh, feeding him was so hard. And then as soon as  that all settled, then it was like, well, I think I got one more in me, let's try  again. 

And then we did it again and then I did get pregnant, and then I was  terrified again. And then that baby had feeding issues, but different feeding  issues. So, nursing was never easy. I was always able to do it, but it was  never easy for any of my three kids and I'd push through because I'm  stubborn like that. And I don't regret doing it, but man, I'm so glad that time's over. 

And then after that, we still had a frozen embryo. So, I was like, oh, okay,  let's put that in. So, now, meanwhile, I'm almost 40-years-old at this point.  And so, it's been like trying to get pregnant and then being pregnant, and then dealing with postpartum and having a baby and all of these things.  And then I put that final embryo in and it takes, and then I end up  miscarrying it. 

And so, then dealing with all of that, and then my cycles were wacky afterward and it was literally like probably actually that whole thing was  probably 12 or 13 years of my life where I really wasn't able to think into the future that much. 

I was actually just talking to my husband about it. I was like, “Do you remember what it was like back then? Like we didn't even know what kind of car to get because we're like, we don't know, like are we going to have another baby or not?” Like it's a three-year lease. Like everything just felt like it was sort of put on hold until we had the whole family situation and pregnancy stuff like all sorted. And I think that this can  show up in lots of ways for different people. But in our cases, we just weren't sure we needed all this extra assistance to get pregnant. It wasn't as simple as like, “Well, yeah, it takes us about three to six months to get  pregnant, we can have another baby if we wanted.” 

It's like we don't know. We like really don't know what's going to happen.  And of course, like the cost of everything, it was just very, very involved.  So, when I think of having just like a really shortened small future, I think of  that time in my life where it was literally just like I just need to know the next  time I need to go in and get an ultrasound. Like I just need to know the next  time I need to go see the reproductive endocrinologist. Like that was such a  huge part of my life for so long. 

And then talk about feeling kind of chewed up and spat out. At the end of it, I was kind of like, whoa, here I am. Oh my gosh, I'm almost 40-years-old.  Like what is happening? And if you know my story at all, you know that was  the time I started reevaluating things in my life, going like what's working, what's not? Am I happy with how things are going? 

And certainly, the struggles that I'd had with my eating and with food or  something I was not happy with, and that's really what led me to stop getting off the treadmill of doing the exact same thing with Weight Watchers  again and again and again, and then regaining the weight every time in between, to starting down this path that ultimately, led me to find life  coaching. And then here we are. 

So, I'm grateful for that, but we don't necessarily ideally want to plan to just  have like a whole decade of our lives escape us. And with the state of the  world, I don't think it's really useful to hinge our ability to look and plan for  our future and create the future we want to external circumstances, like  who's in political power and what the economy is doing. 

Sure, maybe it's easier to think thoughts about our future that are really  positive. Maybe, it's what we prefer, but it's just not always going to be that  way. And if it's not that way, that doesn't mean that we can't still think about  our future and what we want to create despite what's going on around us. 

So, when you think about it, like it always feels better to have a plan than to  feel like you're uncertain and you're sitting around and waiting. And if you think about what I just said, like when you have a plan, that's coming from  you internally, that's you deciding, you know what, there's something that I  want for myself and I'm going to create a plan. I'm going to move toward  figuring that out. And so, that comes from within you. 

But uncertainty and waiting comes from things outside of you, where you're  like, “Well, I don't know. And so, I need to wait and observe and I need to  see, and I need to determine if what's going on around me makes me changing or creating something different, makes that possible.” And what I  want to offer to you is that it's always possible no matter what's going on  around you to make a change that's important to you. 

I was just talking to somebody about this and they were talking about like is  it ever too late to stop trying to lose weight for the last time. And I'm like,  listen, I mean, I just think that everybody deserves to experience peace and  freedom around food. I personally don't care how much you weigh, it's not  really that important to me. You get to choose that. 

But for me, I mean, I feel much more compelled to help you to stop  overeating, to stop using food against yourself and as a way to make your  life tolerable so that you can just coexist with food and no longer have that  be a problem because you deserve to live however much of your life is left  in that place. I mean, everybody deserves to have that. 

And so, that comes when we just decide, you know what, I see what's been  creating these problems, and I want to opt out of this. I want to do  something different. That comes from within. 

You want to be really careful about letting external inputs, largely like the  news — and that doesn't mean that you're watching the news or  necessarily reading a newspaper. It could be just what you're picking up on  social media, what people are talking about; radio shows, things like that,  other podcasts. You want to be really careful about those external inputs  telling you what your future is. 

I notice when I'm reading the paper, there's a lot of things … I mean they're  in sales in the sense that their headlines are trying to sell you into reading  the article. And if you're not careful about managing your mind, you can  start getting really worried and scared. Even if what they're talking about  doesn't even really apply to you or is not actually a problem for you.

You just want to be really, really clear that you are the one that determines  your future, not what's going on around you. You have the power here  when you decide to take it. When you live in that state of sort of uncertainty  and waiting, it's much more disempowering, because you think that what's  going on around you has the power to determine what your experience of  your life is or to determine what's even possible for you in your life. 

And what I want to offer to you and remind you, is that that's not the case at  all. You get to take that power back just by deciding, oh no, it's not the  external circumstances that determine my experience in my life, I determine that. 

And if you're hearing this going, “Yeah, this all sounds good, but I do not  know what you actually mean or how to do that,” that's exactly what I help my clients on the Weight Loss for Doctors Only Program learn to do. 

And you may hear that and go like, “Well, but what does that have to do  with weight loss?” It has everything to do with weight loss. Us deciding — we get to decide that there's a different way. That's up to us. It's so  empowering to do that, to realize that you can make changes even when  everything's falling apart around you. 

So many people who worked with me during the pandemic were like, “I am  so glad I did this now.” Whereas, so many other people were sitting around  waiting, looking, “I don't know, is it okay? Is it safe? I don't know.” And  that's okay if that's how you're living your life. That is how most people  approach these kinds of things. 

But I want you to really think about your bigger and better future. If you do  not think you have a bigger or better future ahead of you, that's a problem.  It really is a problem. When you start to just play around with understanding  that you do have a bigger and better future ahead of you, that's when we  start cooking with gas, so to speak. That's when we start really making  progress. 

And you may not even know or be able to envision what that bigger and  better future is. Sometimes people are like, “I don't even know what it could  be.” That's okay. You don't have to know what it is, but you can at least  play around with the idea that you know what, there's something bigger and  better out there for me.

And that doesn't mean that what I have right now is awful and I have to  escape it. It just means that there's still some improvement. There's still  growth for me. There's still a way for me to solve some of the problems that  I've been experiencing and create something different for myself. 

Maybe it's having deeper, more meaningful relationships. Maybe it's having  more impact on the world. Maybe it is being able to be a better mentor or  being able to produce important medical research and data and literature,  or changing our medical system, advocacy — there's so many things that  could be done with that bigger and better future, but you first have to  believe that it exists. 

I really want you to think about that. If you are thinking I don't know, I don't  know if I think I have a bigger and better future, then that is something I can  teach you to do as well. This is a learned behavior to shut things down and  keep it small. 

Sometimes we are taught even as kids, like that's not for you. You don't get  to do that. That's not for people like us. And we just have to decide that  that's wrong and it's actually not true because it actually isn't true. 

And then I just want to leave you with one more thing. You know, there's so  much concern over food prices right now. And I have to tell you, I was  looking at a food receipt the other day and I was just like, “Dang, food's expensive.” I was like, “Wow, that really is expensive.” 

And I get it, prices really have gone up. I do also want to point this out to you, and I do not mean this in like a silly or facetious way — I really mean  it. If you are overeating, that costs you money. So, if you're concerned  about food prices, you can probably get your budget right back to where it  was or maybe even less your food budget, just by stopping overeating. 

I mean this. I've seen it time and time again. Overeating costs a lot of  money. So, I just want to point that out to you. I just want to point that out to you. 

Alright, my friend, thank you so much for joining me. There's so many  exciting things coming up here and I can feel your excitement, and thank you so much for sharing it with me. It’s just really cool. And I'm really trying  to do a better job at celebrating things. 

I have this tendency and I think like so many of us doctors, right? It's like we achieve the thing and then we super downplay it and we don't let ourselves enjoy it. And this is really something I'm working on not doing. 

Really, really trying to focus on letting myself enjoy this, letting people…  well, they're going to be excited whether I want them to be or not, but like… and joining them in their excitement. And so, I want to invite you to join me in my excitement because it's really a cool thing to have happen. 

Alright, very good. And if you haven't secured your pre-order yet on the  book, just go to any place they sell books really, but Amazon, Barnes &  Noble, like wherever, it's called How to Lose Weight for the Last Time and  you can place your pre-order for it even right now. 

Alright, thank you my friend. Thank you so much for being here and I just  love connecting with you every week. Have a great rest of your week and I  will talk to you next time. Take care. Bye-bye.