Ep #387: Moving Forward After Weight Regain – Weight Regain Series Part 2

Well, hey there, friend! Welcome to today's episode of Weight Loss for Busy Physicians. I'm really glad you're here. I have part two of the Weight Regain series for you. Last week, I gave you part one, where we talked about how you may have gained weight back, or maybe you lost weight and kept it off briefly and then regained it. 

 

Maybe you lost weight and kept it off. Maybe for a long time, maybe for many months or even many years. And then the weight was regained. And so we talked last time a lot about what we make it mean about what we need to do to prepare ourselves mentally to deal with this weight regain and and move ourselves forward. You know, figuring out what our thoughts and feelings are about the whole situation and, you know, building some awareness of what happened. How did we even get here so that we can learn from it. So I want to encourage you, if you did not listen to that episode, you might want to start there. And actually, I would strongly encourage you to start there.

 

Maybe put pause this one on pause and go over, listen to that one first, and then come to this one. This one is part two of the Weight Regain series. Today we're talking more about moving forward after that weight regain. So last time we talked about okay so it's happened. You've regained it. And now we're going to talk a little bit more about actions, about what to do when you're ready to move forward. Now another reason why I'm going to tell you I don't want you to skip the last episode, that part one, because often we're like, you know, how you go into a book and you're like – for example, I can think of is the sleep training books. 

 

I don't know what the more recent ones are like. I haven't read them in a while. But back when my children were younger and when I was practicing as a pediatrician, I'd, you know, get a book on sleep training or something, and they wouldn't get into the actual details of how to sleep train your child to like chapter 5 or 6 or something. You're like, I don't care. Just tell me how to get this kid to sleep, you know, and I can imagine there were people who are like, I don't care about the thoughts and feelings. Just tell me what to do to get the the weight of regained off. And while I am sympathetic to that, and I do understand that place, I want to let you know that if you don't want to have this experience again where you gain the weight again, if you really want to lose it one last final time, you can't skip that part.

 

It's really, really important that you work on the mindset, the thoughts and feelings part, and even just understanding. There's a lot of gold to mine essentially in understanding what brought you here. So we want to make sure we don't leave that gold in the ground. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So you're ready. You're like, okay, I've kind of wrung out all the learning I could from that. There's still a little bit more, though, to figure out, but we're going to get down to like the real action, like the stuff I'm doing, types of things. So here's what I want to suggest that you do. I want you to take a moment or, you know, I mean, a few moments probably, and write down what actually worked when you were losing weight in the past. 

 

And if you were maintaining it, you know, what was working during the maintenance phase. So just bring yourself back to that and identify what the things that you were doing that really worked and worked can mean several different things. Part of working is that it gives you the results that you want, right? So the weight either came off or it stayed off. So that's one way to define it working. Another way to define it working is that it felt really comfortable for you, or it felt really easy, or it was something that was just, you know, so integrated, so on autopilot for you that you just were able to do it.

 

It's just how you lived your life, at least in that period of time, you know, things that just made it seem like, “Hey, this is really great.” Now I will say that depending on how you lost weight in the past, you might not have a lot of things that really feel like they worked from a simplicity or ease standpoint, or not having to think about it that much standpoint. Maybe they were things that did create results on the scale, but weren't very easy for you to follow ongoing. And that's also really important information, because if you know, those things worked from a scale standpoint, but it's not something that you can continue ongoing, then it's just not going to work. 

You know, that's the overall big picture. It's not working. And then that's not going to be something we want to try again. But often there are some things and you know, we can think about a big picture or really big things. But I want to encourage you to really think about some of those small things, the little details as well, things that maybe don't even seem like they made that much of a difference at the time. But, you know, maybe they did. It could be that you were really, really good about getting some water in, and you really made sure you drank more water than maybe other beverages, and you wonder if that maybe helped.

 

You know, that your hydration status was really good. Like, that's one example of just kind of a small thing. Or it could be that you were just a little bit more organized with your sleep schedule so you could get up a little bit earlier so you had a little more. More time in the morning to do whatever it is you like to do. Go outside for a walk, spend a little time privately journaling or reading a good book, or just a little time to yourself meditating, whatever it is you like to do. Maybe that little extra ten minutes has fallen by the wayside. 

 

All those little things. Just thinking back to what was life like when things were going well, and make sure you jot those things down. We always think we're going to remember them. I found that we tend to not remember them. It's usually not how that goes. So write that all down because ultimately we do not need to reinvent the wheel. And of course, we never want to reinvent the wheel if we don't have to. I find that, you know, what we tend to do is kind of throw the baby out with the bathwater in the sense that, you know, we're kind of like, well, I gained that weight, so everything I did there is garbage.

 

I'm going to just throw it all out and not do any of that. And that's a missed opportunity. And there are so many good things in there that probably if you just did those things again, which you already know how to do and in the past felt good and easy, I mean, amazing, like, let's do those again. We don't have to find something totally new. And I think when we think we need to find something totally new that slows us down, everything feels harder. Things that are just more like, oh yeah, I kind of had forgotten how much I liked XYZ, right? This is always easier, always better. 

 

Okay, next you're going to write about what didn't work. And I know we did touch on that a little bit. Like what got you to where you are right now. In the last episode we talked about that, you know, really just understanding like what happened, what did I stop doing was something happened in my life. And then I just kind of got out of the habit or what exactly happened. But I do want to spend a little more time on that. Again, in terms of the actual actions, you know, what were the things that always felt kind of hard or you never really loved? You know, maybe it's like you had decided that you need to eat more cruciferous vegetables, and you were forcing yourself to eat a bunch of, like, broccoli, cauliflower, or something.

 

I'm just totally making this up. And you don't even really like those vegetables that much, and so you're just not that excited about doing that again. I would put that on this part of the list. You know, it doesn't mean you maybe never eat it, but maybe it's, you know, we find some different ways of preparing it that tastes better to you. Or maybe we just, you know, like let go of that goal of eating it, you know, four times a week. And maybe instead we just do it once or twice or something like that because it's something that we can sustain. Right? 

 

This is what's so important is that this is doable. What we're doing, what didn't work, can also have to do with our expectations of ourselves. It could be that you had in mind, like, okay, I need to be doing this long list of 13 different things every day, and if I do all of those things to support myself, then I am able to lose weight or maintain it. And it's not that something is necessarily bad with that long list. It could just be that your current life doesn't mesh with that. You know, maybe at a certain point in your life you were able to do that. Maybe when you were doing that, you were single and you had a lot of time. And now maybe you have children or a baby or, you know, other responsibilities. Maybe you have a different job that requires so much more of you.

 

Maybe you have other personal responsibilities. Maybe you're taking care of aging parents that kind of time, that investment to get all of those things done. It's just not available to you now. So we want to make sure we write that all down, not because we need to throw the whole list out, but because we might need to make some tweaks. Maybe we go, hey, you know what? What were the top three things that moved the needle the most, that were most important to me, or really, really made the most difference and really, really helped? 

 

Maybe I can find time for those things. And the other ten, you know, are kind of nice to haves when little extra time does, you know, open up. So understanding what didn't work, but not from a place of and these things are all horrible and we need to get rid of all of them. But instead coming from a place of there's definitely some gold in here. I just need to kind of like filter it out from the Fool's Gold. No, just like, you know, I just need to, like, pick and choose and find the things that were good. And then I might want to consider continuing on, but not necessarily like all of it, you know, or maybe none of it. I mean, it could be two that you're like, yeah, I was totally super miserable. I was feeling tons of urges.

 

I felt like I was using so much willpower. The whole thing felt so hard. When I think about any time I had to drink, like any kind of shake of any kind, that's how I feel. I know some people like shakes. I've not ever met a shake I like. It's just not for me. I've tried many of them. It's certainly not a long-term solution for me by any stretch. Right? So it's like not like, oh, I just maybe need to find a different shake that I actually like. I could just go, hey, you know what? I'm going to figure out a way to do this where I don't drink shakes. And that's exactly what I did. So now we're going to move on to taking action like to true taking action time. 

 

And I want to pause here for a moment to really strongly suggest that when you're in this phase when you're ready to do this, you get some coaching support here, and I want to tell you, why, can’t you do it yourself? Yeah, I think anything's possible. But I will tell you, it is so much easier and better when you do it with coaching. And what you find in coaching is that this is not like your friend who is, you know, giving you their opinions about things. What you're getting is a very unbiased person who is helping you to achieve what you want to achieve, and is able to see things in the way that you're thinking, and in the way that you're approaching the whole process, that it can be easy for us to miss ourselves.

 

You know, like we can think that we've got our thinking all straightened out, and then a coach is like, yeah, so you just said this, so explain to me how that works and how that makes sense. And you're like, oh my goodness gracious. I did not even see that. And this is true even for coaches, right? All of us. Like we're so inside. You know, some people say it's hard to read the label on the bottle when you're inside it. You know what I mean? It's like kind of the same thing. And so the other thing that's so helpful with coaching is that it is solutions-focused. 

 

And so we don't spend so much time talking about the problem or more deeply understanding the problem. We do want to build awareness around that. So we've previously talked about it, but we're all about taking action and moving forward and staying focused on the future so we can create what we want. And I think what can slow us down, particularly when we're doing it ourselves or not getting the help that we need, is that we end up kind of backsliding or thinking about the past more than is helpful. That's one thing I really love about my program weight loss for busy physicians. Our permanent weight loss proven process. I mean, it just literally takes you through the steps, like all you have to do is follow the steps and then you'll get to where you're going.

 

It's sometimes it's so nice. It's like, I don't need to sit here and keep thinking, what should I do next? And is this enough? And should I do something else? It's like, just follow this proven process and you'll get to where you're going. You know what I mean? It's so good. It just takes you there. So that coaching help really, really helps you to make sure that you're making this time, the last time to actually figure it out from not only just like the day-to-day actions of what to do, but also the mindset approach. So that's my plug for coaching. Just because I know it works, it does. 

 

Okay, so when it's time to take action, here's something that I find a lot of people do that really can make it hard for them. And I see a lot of people tripping up on this. What often happens is we've identified what worked. We know all these things were helpful in the past, and then we're like, well, I want results as soon as possible. So I'm going to just start doing all those things again like I used to be able to do them all, and it felt easy and was comfortable and it was no big deal. And then they start doing that, and then they're kind of surprised that it doesn't feel great and that it's hard and that, wow, that's a lot of things.

 

And how do I fit that all into my life? And it's not uncommon for folks to really start feeling like they're doing great for a little bit and then not doing. And then why does this feel so hard? And I must be doing something wrong. It's like a lot of fits and spurts, you know like you're doing it, you're not doing it, you're doing it, you're not doing it. Or maybe you do it for like a week and you're hoping that like 17 pounds falls off. You know, not really, but ideally. Right. We're like, I just want to, you know, have like a significant sign that this is working. 

 

Like, I want to see it on the scale or, or feel it in my body and the way my clothes fit and often right. It takes a little longer than that. And that can be something that we don't love, like we just are in a rush to get back to where we were before with, you know, before we regain that weight. And so I want to suggest, well, first of all, that you're not thinking about going back anywhere. You know, we often tend to romanticize the past, and we want to try to avoid that. Instead, we want to think about the future. We want to move into the future, to the new version of us who has created, you know, some ironclad protection around us so we don't regain the weight if we want to go back to where we were before, then we're going to be setting ourselves up to just regain the weight again, because who we were back then regained the weight back.

 

So there needs to be some evolution, some growth, and that occurs when we're moving forward and not trying to go back. So what I suggest is that you think about all the things that worked and all those things you've learned, and you go a step at a time and you really meet yourself where you're at, like, don't try to do everything all at once. It really tends to not work well, I mean, we know this from our own experience, but there's research that backs it up as well. 

 

My suggestion is the following. Look at your list of things that worked, and I want you to pick either the easiest thing that worked that really is not going to take much from you, that you're like, yeah, that's not a big deal. I can definitely do that and do that consistently, like pick that or pick the thing on the list that if you did it, you think it would make the biggest impact. Okay, so you're like this, if I do this, I know it really moves the needle. And I want to point out that this may not actually be food related, this thing that might have the biggest impact. You know, some people find that if they start doing some of their stress reduction strategies, oh, look at that.

 

They just aren't overeating as much. Right? Or they start doing some of the journaling that they know really helped them before. And oh, look at that. Not so much food chatter in their brain. Interesting, right? So what's really cool to realize about this is, you know, we think we need to focus on the food. Well, I mean, maybe, but also maybe going back to those other supportive things and getting those established will just make the food part even easier. They'll be even less work that you have to do because you're supporting yourself in those other ways. So how to know if you should pick the most impactful thing or the easiest thing I think is really up to you. 

 

I think if you're feeling pretty energized, if you're feeling pretty motivated, you're like, okay, let's go. Like, I'm ready to do this, then I think the one that'll make the most impact, you know, it sounds like there's energy behind that and that could be really good. I think if you're not feeling so energetic about it, if you're still working through some of the feelings that you have, that you're where you are, if you're feeling really pressed for time, like you want to take action, but life is feeling particularly busy right now, your hours are more accounted for than they maybe were in the past. I think the easiest thing can be really nice because it just gives you some good wins where you just start feeling like, you know, I didn't even have to make that many changes and it's already starting to work and that can feel really reassuring.

 

It can help you to recognize, like, this does not have to be so hard. I don't need to have total life upheaval in order for me to shed some excess body fat and have a better relationship with food, right? It doesn't have to be so, so challenging and so difficult. So, so depending on where you're at, I think, you know, just trust yourself to know which one of these is going to be the best for you. Okay. So you're doing that thing and I'll just speak to this again consciously, like on purpose, build awareness around any thoughts that come up about how things were in the past. 

 

Okay. Like it's very easy for us to go well, but you know, I'm just using that as like my point of reference. And you know, back then I did this and back then that was so great. Like I said, we put on rose colored glasses. I've seen this so many times. Like, well, back then it just felt so easy sometimes. I've coached these people in the past and I'm like, yeah, but I remember coaching you when you were totally complaining about that thing and they're like, oh my gosh, you're totally right. I completely had forgotten about that. Fascinating, right? So fascinating. So we really want to focus on the future.

 

So you notice your brain going back to the past, thinking about the past, lamenting about the past, glorifying the past. Like redirect time to redirect. Let's think about the future. What am I going to do today? What can I do today that can help support me on creating the future that I want? Okay, so that takes some conscious awareness, some conscious effort in the sense of paying attention to what you're thinking, what you're saying to people, the story you tell yourself and others. Next, I really want to encourage you to celebrate your wins. 

 

When we have regained weight, sometimes we think that as we're losing, we don't deserve to celebrate that because we should have never been in this position in the first place. This is that kind of mean, judgmental part of us, that voice in our head. Sometimes that comes out, and I really want to discourage you from thinking about it this way. It is ineffective, just blanketly ineffective to try to shame ourselves into permanent weight loss. It will not work. Okay, so let's just not do that. But I want to encourage you to also when it comes to wins, not just celebrate the results wins. Like, oh, these pants used to be really tight and now they finally feel comfortable or I reach this certain number on the scale. Those are, of course, things that you can celebrate, particularly if those things are part of your goals or things that are important to you.

 

But I want to encourage you to celebrate process wins as well, and maybe even more so. And what I mean by that is setting process goals for yourself. These are things that you absolutely have control over, right? You don't necessarily have control. Like is the scale going to move X many pounds this week or something? I mean, you absolutely can set goals on that and take actions that you hope will create that. But. You can't ultimately 100% create that every time, right? It doesn't. This is just not how it works. So with process goals, you do have control and with process goals. 

 

What that means then is you are committing to doing parts of the process and then you're celebrating when you did those things. So for instance, that could be at least one meal a day, really checking in with yourself to figure out where you are on the hunger scale before you start eating. Which you know, I have more information about the hunger scale in this podcast and in my book called How to Lose Weight for the Last Time, if that's a new concept to you. And so you could say, yeah, you know what, once a day, a minimum once a day, I'm going to be checking in on the hunger scale around a meal. So I'm going to recognize where I am on the hunger scale when I start to eat. And I'm gonna let it guide me to know when to stop eating.

 

Right. So that could be one thing that you're deciding to do at least once a day. And then when you've done that for maybe even just three days in a row, you can celebrate that. If it's something that's really tough for you to remember or maybe a week, you know, seven days in a row, like we can celebrate that and celebration sometimes, you know, I think we get a little like, well, how do I celebrate it? I mean, it literally can just be like sitting there for a moment and going, go me like feeling, you know, some pride in yourself, feeling the joy of accomplishing something, just being like, this is awesome. Look at me. 

 

I did it for seven days. I wonder if I could do it for seven more. Or maybe I could do it just three more and see what happens. And at ten days. Oh my gosh, look, I did it for ten days straight and you start to build that up. You build the excitement, the momentum. You build evidence for yourself that you really can do this, that this is working. This also helps you to keep a more positive mindset and helps to keep you thinking about the future and moving forward. So make sure you let yourself celebrate those wins. Don't punish yourself. And then finally, I want to encourage you to just add new things on gradually. You know, like we talked about finding the one thing on the list, like when you're ready for a second thing, maybe choose the second easiest thing, or the thing you think will make the second biggest impact and choose that to add on, right? Just one thing at a time.

 

Like, let's just work with ourselves. There's no need to be in a rush if this is going to be the last time. In fact, it's so much more likely to be the last time if we don't rush. You know, some of us get confused. We think if we're not rushing, then we're doing nothing. It's a very all-or-nothing way of thinking. We need to, you know, all the invitation is to increase, you know, that capacity to be in that middle space where we are taking action. But we're not, you know, coming from like a frenetic or frantic energy. And then as new obstacles show up because they will find solutions. Recognize. I always like to tell my clients, I don't even think there's just one solution out there. 

 

I think there's hundreds of solutions, probably infinite numbers of solutions to this obstacle that you have. And all we have to do is find one that works. So do you think we can find one out of infinite? I think probably we can. Let's try to do that. So something new comes up. There's a little trip up. We don't make that mean. It's the beginning of the end. No. Instead what we do is we really just focus on learning from what happened similarly to what we did earlier.

 

Talked about that in the first podcast and learning what we need to learn so we can take strides moving forward and continue building up the toolkit and the skills that we need to be able to live our lives while having peace and freedom around food and maintaining the weight that we want to maintain. That's how we do this. So that's how I suggest you move forward after weight regain. I don't want to come down too heavy handed, but I'm telling you, coaching is so instrumental in helping to get this going. If you have been trying to do this on your own and it's not working, I want you to really strongly look into whether it's my weight loss or doctor's only coaching program or coaching with somebody else. 

 

You really need to be getting that help if you want to be moving forward, okay? I mean, like I said, I think you can do it yourself, but I think it's so much more likely to be permanent. I know that when you're getting this specific type of help. 

 

All right. That is part two of the Weight Regain series. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you have a great rest of your day and your week, and I'll talk to you next time. Thank you. Bye.